Preview of Future Blog-Post Concepts

1.) Tools for the memoir writer in 2011.
2.) Self publishing platforms.
3.) Why write a memoir now?
4.) Books outline.
5.) Discussion of top themes.
6.) Favorite journals - both on paper and in blogosphere.
7.) Snapshots of my personal journals.
8.) Survey for those who maintain journals: why do you do it?
9.) Survey for those who maintain journals: have you ever done anything more with those journals?
10.) Journal quote of the week.
11.) Plans for sabbatical.
12.) The next trip on my list.
13.) How to engage with friends and family who make appearances in the journals - do we preview the material with them? Disguise names?
14.) Why bother?

Four Books Contributing to My Temporary Lapse of Reason, Part I

Berlin Diaries 1940-1945 by Marie Vassiltchikov
A great read about what it was like in Berlin during the Second World War. This is the account of a woman who had aristocratic ties - her account mixed the glamor of the Adlon Hotel and the basics of the wartime experience. A great read. A recommendation from my father ages ago. Can't believe it isn't in e.* This book was one that I used (together with Hopeful Monsters*) as a guidebook to the city when I lived there in 1995 and again in 1999.

Dear Exile by Kate Montgomery and Hilary Liftin
Very compelling exchange of letters (imagine how thi sbook might not have happened if there had been email/blogs when they wrote these messages back and forth. The conversation between the two women as they find their way reminds me of some of the correspondences that I have had with friends over the years. One day soon, 'll track down the letters I wrote to my dear friend H. and those that I received back in 1991 when I lived and worked in the Pacific Northwest. While I enjoy Twitter as much as the next person... I must say that I sometimes miss the depth of correspondence that I had with my closest friends and family before the 160 character limit fixed itself in our collective consciousness.

A Visit from the Goon Squad, by Jennifer Egan
I wasn't sold on this recent book until I hit the chapter that takes place in Africa, and though I found it heartbreaking, it was one of the best things I have read in a very long time. Also, if you share my current obsession with communications and social media, you simply must get to the last section of this book (can't do any plot spoilers here). I've been a little off of fiction lately, though I think I may swing back soon... largely because of this particular book. I am definitely not writing fiction though I have tried in the past - it's too hard to keep up my willing suspension of disbelief.

Reluctantly, I will also refer to Eat, Pray, Love. I did enjoy the book, but I must say that I've read so many others that were at least as good, so I'm not sure what is was about this adventure that so captured the imagination of so many women. I liked the spiritual chapters most, and although the Bali bits were fun, I was a bit disappointed that she ended with such a traditional resolution: a boyfriend! It was like Clueless! I must say that I've been a little let down by her recent developments; after traveling the world, searching for enlightenment, writing a book on marriage, she ended up... opening a import/export store in New Jersey? Really?

Anyway, I'll add a few more here in the coming months as I gather my thoughts.


*I actually clicked the Amazon link to notify the publisher that I'd like a kindle version.

Tiergarten Quote from 1995 + 2011 Snapshot

Clearly, my concept of transcribing my journals and slapping this book together has morphed in the last four to six weeks. As I make my way through some of what I have written through the years, I am actually struck by how much drivel there actually is. Tonight I'd like to report that I found a quote worthy of surfacing for the blog - and possibly the book. Very on target with some of the themes I seem to be exploring. Nostalgia, reminders, timelessness and being in the moment. Significance of place and situation. We'll see how this contributes in my final book, but I'll share it here now.

"Photographs from the Ende und Angfang Austellung keep coming back to me in the park. The damaged sculptures and statues, secret sections beyond the ruins. It’s as though these bits of history are more alive in the park. In the rest of Berlin, cranes crowd the landscape and all of the energy is focused towards the future. Not bad in itself, but in the Tiergarten, it could be 1930, or it could be 1996. Such is the layering of history and sacred spaces."
- from my personal journal, Berlin, 23. July 1995

A Word About Self Portraits

I love them. I love self portraits taken by others of themselves. I love taking self portraits of myself with my family, friends, and all alone.

Part of it is the time/place stamping opportunity these images afford. Clearly I am not alone - point and shoots often come equipped now with front facing displays for this purpose. My cameras now have 3 frame releases for self-timer shots. But I still love the messy, slightly out of focus, poorly composed shots myself. Stick an arm out the window and get the wind in your face. Angle slightly to the left and you'll see the ESB over the Brooklyn Bridge.

Not sure what I will say in my story about self portraits but I think I may have each chapter start with one. Editing down will be extremely tough. This is my core challenge.

A.O. Scott Article - Susan Sontag 34 Years Later

Magazine
On (Digital) Photography: Sontag, 34 Years Later
By A. O. SCOTT
Published: May 6, 2011
Amid a blizzard of images, what is the worth of one photograph?

My favorite quote:

The camera, the darkroom, the museum and the archive all exist in the same place. Everywhere and nowhere; on Google Earth, in social networks, on a standard cellphone app. Every one of us commands a factory and a storehouse of images, vessels of information and nostalgia, desire and curiosity. And each of us spends more time than we care to admit browsing through it, searching out shards of memory and intimations of mortality.

What it's gonna take...

Okay, this isn't going to be easy.

Aside from the basic challenges of developing intelligent prose on a topic that is of interest to at least 5 other people, there are some fundamental logistical challenges to the accomplishment of my goal of completing and self-publishing a book before my next birthday. Here they are - and then I promise not to complain again (note that I am crossing my fingers as I type that).

1.) I do have a day job. And it is one that I love. It keeps me quite busy, thank you very much, and for some reason this year seems to be chock full o'travel. Normally that would be a-okay with me, but it's difficult to pull off in view of...
2.) I have a baby! I love him. He is, in fact, the light of my life. No kidding! Who knew?! I feel like I should write a personal apology to all of my friends who had babies before me for not realizing how tremendously awesome babies and kids actually are! In truth I was afraid of children (they puke! they are mean to each other!) until now.
3.) The combo pack is the hardest. Red-eye for me from SF last night and today the baby didn't get his afternoon nap. So of course, now, I am exhausted, he is over tired and unable to get to sleep. His crying actually makes my c-scar ache (at some point I'll probably tell his birth story - even though no one really wants to read it - except other moms-to-be or recently made mom's looking for comparable experiences).
4.) Then there are all of the other things I should be doing: like vacuuming, scrubbing the tub - or at the very least calling a cleaning lady to do these things. Next would be getting exercise. Let's just say that if I were to create a scale entitled 'State of My Health', 10 would be compared to the shape I was in on my wedding day - months of high fiber, low fat eating, walking and hours of pilates meant I was thin, but more importantly, I was actually remarkably healthy. At the other end of the spectrum, I'd put the comparison to 1 equal to about how I am doing right now. Never did any post op physical therapy, nor a minute of pilates or yoga. No time. Am eating badly, sleeping too little and generally not making my health the priority that it ought to be. Sad to admit this on mother's day eve. If my mom told me this information, I'd get very cross with her.

So, I don't know how to solve all of these things, other than to say the following: I have about 2 hours each evening after the baby goes to sleep to be productive. This fluctuates by evening of course (if he is up late because he missed his nap, I have less time), and sometimes, I have other work to do or I am on the road (from previously mentioned, beloved day job). Yet, under no circumstances will I exercise between 8 and 10pm - I simply know myself and I won't do it.

So, I'll be writing. The biggest conflict for this particular time seems to be mindless (and sometimes mindful) television. I'll try not to get too addicted to bad TV. Right now I am really only interested in two shows: The Good Wife and the George RR Martin mini-series on HBO.

Seems like I could still pump out some material a few times each week, no?

Oh, I didn't even mention this blog as a distraction. Probably. Yeah. But I am in the camp that when you announce your intention to do something, you are more likely to succeed. So we can look at the blog 2 ways: 1.) a distraction, 2.) a useful tool to keep me on track and focused. Likely both.

Source Materials & Inspiration

My parents were in town on Saturday and Sunday - and we had a blast. Since beginning the brainstorming on this project, I have been taking stock of all of the possible source material I could look to for inspiration and ideas. Family is particularly fertile ground for research. Of course, the whole concept of self-publishing has been around for quite some time. Though it may have broadened in popularity once it became free & easy through web-based tool. My great grandfather put together several volumes of travel journals (which I fully intend to track down next time I am home). My father actually published a volume of his father's letters home during World War II. And everyone on my mom's side of the family has kept a journal -the old fashioned kind, not the blog sort- has kept a journal for ages.

What's effective? Is it best simply to refer to these journals and writings as inspiration but then write completely fresh prose? Some of my own journals, while amusing to me, might not be (dare I say) all that interesting to someone else.

I think it's more useful to flip through for ideas and memories - and then bring a fresh take. Afterall, what I thought profound at 16 isn't guaranteed to stand up to my standards today. Although after flipping through some stuff from high school, I have to say I was more more thoughtful in some ways then, than I am now. Part fo that was likely because I was, at age 16, in practice. I actually wrote with frequency and looked for new perspectives constantly. I read the paper, mined my dreams, queried by friends, challenged my parents and READ like crazy.

Have I grown complacent? Am I using that creative energy up in my day job and home projects? Do I still have it in me?